Hello, my name is James Dator. I last spoke to you in 2018 about how to run a burner Twitter account, but much about the social media landscape has changed since then. It’s time now to revisit how you, an elite athlete, should run your burner on Twitter to defend your honor, and most-importantly: Not get caught in the process.
First, some personal news, I regret to inform everyone that Matt Ellentuck will not be with me to recommend social media guidelines at this time. Unfortunately he is no longer here at SB Nation, but can still be followed at @mellentuck, where he is currently getting into beef with WNBA teams. Now, without further ado, onto the tips.
No. 1: Pick a good username.
This week we were introduced to the latest potential athlete burner: @jayce_frost, which is purported to be an account used by Raiders quarterback Derek Carr. It goes without saying, but this is a terrible username.
Nobody in the history of humanity has had the name “Jayce Frost” with any semblance of realism. There are only two kinds of people who can pull off this name.
- Actors in the adult film industry.
- A super villain trying to push the sun away from the earth to start another ice age.
If you’re intent on going the full name route you need to pick something commonplace, but not too obvious. This means no @johnsmith, but instead something like @derrickmclellan. Everyone believes there are dudes named Derrick McLellan wandering around a Lowe’s home improvement in Augusta, Georgia looking for a 4 3/8ths roofing nail. In fact, there are probably 15 Derrick McLellan’s doing that as we speak.
If you instead decide to go the route of “generic sports fan,” pick a team OTHER than the one you’re defending. In Carr’s case the perfect foil would be @KCChiefs_83. It reeks of a 37-year-old NFL fan, not a current quarterback.
No. 2: Don’t have a one tract mind when it comes to tweeting.
This is where Carr really messed up. Every single tweet from Jayce Frost was either defending Carr, or talking about his alma mater, Fresno State.
2. The account deactivating within MINUTES of me posting the first tweet makes me think I was correct and he panicked
and
3. this tweet reads a little weird if it’s one of his brothers but makes sense if it’s him pic.twitter.com/PDvaB2prVq
— Tom (@TJFsports) August 5, 2020
This is a rookie mistake. In order to successfully run a burner you need to give the semblance of a real person. Post some food pics, grab a generic shot of a dog, sprinkle in everything required to sound like a real human whose entire existence doesn’t center on Derek Carr.
Which leads us to tip three …
No. 3: Diversify your sports takes.
This requires skill and finesse, and may take some practice. In this case we’ll again assume the identity of @KCChiefs_83. Firstly, think in your character. What does @KCChiefs_83 care about? The Chiefs, obviously. So reply to some of their tweets with the following:
“My Chiefs looking goooood this year!”
“Hell yeah those boys are ready!”
“Mahomes HoF lock ALREADY.”
“Nobody stands a chance against my Chiefs.”
NOW you’ve established a base, so when you see a Raiders fan talking trash about Derek Carr being terrible, you can really defend with a semblance of honor, saying:
“I HATE the Raiders, but y’all are crazy to give up on Carr.”
“I’d MUCH rather see Mariota than Carr. So go for it lol.”
“I’m a Chiefs fan, but seriously Carr gives you the best chance to win.”
You have a right to defend your athletic honor, but do it intelligently. This is the key to running a burner effectively.
No. 4: Always look for plausible deniability.
At some point someone will accuse you of being a burner. It comes with the territory. So be proactive and pre-schedule some tweets to happen during Raiders games. These can be simple, effective and vague.
“GOOD STOP!”
“THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!”
Things of that nature. Schedule them during the middle of the second quarter of a Raiders game, so if anyone dives in they’ll see these tweets and be like “well, the Raiders were playing — so it can’t be Derek Carr.” Then you can chuckle for a job well done.
No. 5: Don’t volume tweet.
The final tip is to pick your spots. Don’t spend all day talking about a single player or team. The bulk of your burner time will be building the persona. When it comes time to defend a player go after a big account and reply.
Wait under Adam Schefter talks about there being doubts about the Raiders’ QB situation, then dive in to get maximum exposure. Remember to front that you’re a fan of another team, and then you will start to gain some traction.
I believe in you athletes, you can do this — just follow these simple rules.
